27 Things to Know

So kiddos, in lieu of my regular list of things I have learned recently, I'm giving you the opportunity to learn something new about me... albeit, not many of these things are "new" to some of you. I'm pretty open. Nonetheless, I'm bored and have gotten all kinds of requests to fill this little thing out. I have modified it as a salute to the coming close of my 27th year... therefore, I have amended the previously accepted "25 Things to Know" to "27 Things to Know." Stay tuned. It's random...

1. I snort when I laugh really hard. I try not to, but that doesn't always work out.
2. I started biting my nails when I became a musician at the ripe old age of 8 or so. My piano teacher was always harping at me that my nails were too long to play the piano. I would forget to cut them, so I started biting them off before I got to my lessons. It stuck.
3. I love Food & Wine magazine. I copy down recipes that I may very well never use.
4. I have an Excel spreadsheet of baby names that I like for each letter of the alphabet.
5. I think I'm the only person on Earth who realizes that birthdays are a year behind. When I turn 28 in March, I will actually be beginning my 29th year of life. Which is 1 year away from my 30th year of life. Eek.
6. Tax Return Day is my 2nd favorite day of the year. It's better than my birthday and almost as good as Christmas.
7. I shared a seat on the metro in Washington, DC with Orlando Bloom. He was wearing a hat and sunglasses. In cognito. He asked me which stop is best for getting to the White House. I didn't know it was him until he got off the train, which is probably good because I probably would have proposed if I had known.
8. I think the funniest thing on Saturday Night Live is when the actors crack themselves up and then try to hide the fact that they did.
9. I don't like maple syrup and think grits taste like sand.
10. I really do believe in Auburn and love it.
11. I tend to give people nicknames based on their occupation.
12. I believe that every argument can be resolved by saying, "I think you're pretty."
13. I have never attempted to resolve an argument by saying, "I think you're pretty."
14. I don't think skinny jeans look good on boys. There are no exceptions to this rule - not even for Pete Wentz.
15. I would secretly love to open a kid-friendly restaurant called Peanut Butter & Ellie's that serves salads and sandwiches and homemade peanut butter. And there would be chalkboard paint on some or all of the walls.
16. I do not like the words "moist," "juicy," or "taut." Or "commode."
17. I have auditioned for American Idol twice.
18. I believe that people are the music they listen to.
19. I believe that people are the company they keep.
20. It annoys me when people trade in their dreams for explanations.
21. I'm glad I never lived next to the water so I could never get used to the beach.
22. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be famous.
23. I subconsciously count my steps when I walk.
24. The only regret I have in my life is that I quit practicing the piano.
25. I believe that I am practical to a fault.
26. I was the only person I know,to make a "B" in Choral Arranging with Dr. Smith.
27. I really am afraid of Kevin Bacon, and the only movie I can tolerate with him in it is A Few Good Men, and then only because he loses.

Queen of the Amputees

I have been inspired to write yet again. It almost seems funny to say that I have to be inspired to get on here and write, but honestly I don't think I could describe it in a better way. I have made myself so busy (and God has made me so scatter-brained!) that it doesn't always occur to me that I should write. So thanks to y'all who keep up with my random posting schedule!! :)

I was catching up on my friend Natalie's blog (and if you haven't checked it out, you should... http://sequined-seafoam.blogspot.com/), and she made a statement about how so many people try to forget their past or forget how their past has made them who and what they are today. It really was a profound little post, and I loved that she gives God the praise for the things that have happened in her past to bring her to where she is today. And even more amazing is what God is teaching me here... stay with me people. This is quite a lesson!

In my Bible study last night (I told you a lot of posts would revolve around this because God has been waiting to teach me some things, I think), Beth Moore made a statement something similar to, "you can't fulfill your destiny by amputating your past." That's not the exact wording, but you get the idea. And I LOVE that she used the word "amputate," because that's exactly what I try to do. I try to forget, cover up, or otherwise AMPUTATE my past life. Just cut it off. And what's so funny is that I could look around that room full of women and see that some of them just didn't get the concept. Beth likened it to rowing a boat into shore... you have your back to the coming shore and your face toward the place you left. You're still rowing forward but you can clearly see where you came from. HOLY COW PEOPLE... ARE YOU LETTING THIS SINK IN?!?!

I don't know if it's as big a deal for you as it was for me. It was like a light blub went off in my head. Well, so to speak. In reality, it was more like God was whispering... "Blair, you better not EVER forget the crap that I pulled you out of." I have since dubbed myself the Queen of the Amputees. If anyone ever on earth was trying to outlive the past it has been me. I have made so many mistakes, and, oddly enough, so many of them have been with the best of intentions. If there is something you have questions about, you could probably come to me because I've probably done it, seen it, lived through it, felt guilty about it, done it again, and then bought it's t-shirt.

There are things in my past that have happened TO me. There are things in my past that have happened WITH me. There are things in my past that have happened BECAUSE OF me. And I can assure you, not many of them are pleasant, happy memories. I have tried to laugh about things, downplay things, and ignore things altogether. I have stolen and lied and schemed and manipulated. I have suffered and given physical abuse and mental abuse and emotional abuse. I have felt ashamed and guilty and sad and embarrassed. And I venture to say that most of you have done/said/felt most of these things because the funny thing is that the past is common to all of us. Did you hear me?? THE PAST IS COMMON TO ALL OF US.

Of course my experiences won't be the same as your experiences. My enemies won't be the same as your enemies. My fears won't be the same as your fears. But trust me on this one: the shame and the guilt and the sadness and the emptiness and the loneliness and the embarrassment... they're common to us all. WE ALL TRY TO FORGET WHAT'S HAPPENED TO US, WITH US, BECAUSE OF US IN THE PAST. ALL OF US.

But you can't forget your past because, like Natalie mentioned in her post, the past makes you who you are. And you better believe God wants you to remember the crap He pulled you out of. Don't misunderstand me... I don't think you should negatively dwell on your past. Memories can become little altars that we worship everyday, and I don't think we should spend the present worried about the past. But I don't think it does God justice for us to forget it either. He is not shocked by your past, and just like so many others in the Bible, YOU CAN'T FULFILL YOUR DESTINY BY AMPUTATING YOUR PAST. You just can't. He made you. He watched you. HE SAVED YOU. It's important!!

Oh, I wish that all of you could feel the freedom I feel right now. It's liberating in a strange sort of way. I have a past, and it's OK. It's not a great past, I can promise you. And it's not a forgotten past, because that is a worthless and unattainable task anyway. But it is in the past. God has already pulled me from the fire. And I can rest assured that He will pull me out again. I don't want to forget because THAT IS REDEMPTION!

I'm skipping the list today... this is just too important to be overshadowed! Love you all!

Lucky You!

Well kiddos... it's officially the middle of the first month of 2009. Weird. I haven't put the wrong date on any of my checks thus far, though, so maybe that's a good sign. I have joined the choir at church (AMAZING) and started the new Beth Moore Bible study on Esther (FANTASTIC), and you guys get to follow me along my meaningless banter...

Last night at Bible study, the big question was "What are the three toughest things about being a woman?" That was our first thought-provoking discussion, and I really thought the answers would come easily to me. But they didn't. Of course, there's the obvious: the hormones, mood swings... and the physical consequences of the hormones and mood swings. And of course there's the balance... how do I get everything accomplished that I'm supposed to?? And I know that's not three things, but it's the best I could come up with last night. But, today with a bit more thought, I have decided to share with you (My Faithful Readers) the three toughest things about being a woman... (Get ready... this is HUGE!)...

1. It's tough wearing panties and then dealing with the stress of trying to hide the fact that I do. OK, seriously. Once you stop laughing and compose yourself, read on... Britney Spears is ruling the world. She has a team of cohorts that include Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton, and Lindsey Lohan. Oh, and People Magazine publishes her every move. It's magical, really. The panties. Really. Britney Spears was so worried about her panty lines that she just didn't wear any. And to make sure that she documented the fact that it really is, in fact, uncool to have panty lines, she made sure that People Magazine was there to publish her without any on. Now, I realize that this may be a bit... taboo. But I don't know a woman in the world who doesn't worry about her panty lines. So in order to alleviate this, I am vowing in 2009 to make panty lines cool again. Hey, at least you know we're wearing some.

2. It's tough being a woman in another woman's shadow. For anyone who has done the Esther study, you'll recognize this statement as the first scenario statement. And at first I blew it off because, honestly, I have always thought that you only live in the shadows if you choose that for yourself. I'm a firm believer in standing out. But then I thought about it... and I mean REALLY thought about it... and maybe one of the toughest things about being a woman is... OTHER WOMEN!! And trust me, I have been there and not even realized it. I'm pretty sure at some point during my college career I actually made the statement that I was going to make some ugly friends so I could be the pretty one for a change. (OK, maybe more than once.) I have been in the shadows... behind the "pretty" women, behind the "popular" women, behind the "good Christian" women, behind the "genius," behind the "musician," behind the "man-magnet." Oh, I have been in the shadows, all right. So I vow in 2009 to find ways to let God make me special. Hey, you gotta shine sometime.

3. It's tough accepting that you can't be everything. I don't know if men struggle with this. Frankly, I've never been a man, so I can't speak from personal experience. But women are bombarded ALL THE TIME... Be skinnier! Be prettier! Be younger! Be smarter! Be more nurturing! Cook the meals! Do the laundry! Raise the children! It's exhausting trying to be and do everything you're supposed to do. So I vow in 2009 to clear my schedule, reorganize my priorities, and learn to say NO every once in a while. And if (WHEN!) I don't measure up to Mary, Mother of Jesus or June Cleaver or even Roseanne... I'll just have to get over it. If I'm late to church because I overslept and I feel like people are staring at me, I'll just have to get over it. If I get a spot on my white blouse, I'll just have to get over it. If I don't lose the last 5 pounds, I'll just have to get over it. Hey, I can't be everything.

OK, enough with the wisdom beyond my years. Onward to the list! I think some of you might be shocked at what I've learned lately...

1. Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez are BROTHERS and Martin Sheen is their DAD!?!?! WHERE HAVE I BEEN?? Martin Sheen changed his name from Martin Estevez because he thought the American film industry would be more accepting of a less ethnic-sounding name. Charlie followed close behind, but brother Emilio politely declined. I'm impressed with old Emilio for standing up for himself. KUDOS! I can almost forget that he was once married to Paula Abdul...

2. Drinking 16 ounces of ice water requires the body to burn 17.5 calories to warm the water up to body temperature. So if you drink the recommended 64 ounces of water as ice water, your body will actually burn 70 calories.

3. Pop Rocks contribute to global warming. To make Pop Rocks, the sugary candy is mixed with carbon dioxide at 600psi. Carbon dioxide is one of the greenhouse gasses contributing to global warming. When you put Pop Rocks in your mouth, the candy melts and the 600psi carbon dioxide is released from the bubble. JUST SAY NO!

ENJOY!! :)

Oh, The Things You Learn!... My Personality Test

So I took this color personality test thingy, and it says I'm a BLUE personality. Check for comments in BLUE in parentheses...

Congratulations, Blair, you are a BLUE personality. The Core Motivation that drives you through life is "Intimacy". BLUES need connection - the sharing of rich, deep emotions that bind people together. (TRUE) As a BLUE, you will often sacrifice a great deal of time, effort, and/or personal convenience to develop and maintain meaningful relationships throughout your life. (PROBABLY TRUE)

BLUES seek opportunities to genuinely connect with others, and need to be understood and appreciated, especially by their partner. (TRUE) Everything you do as a BLUE has to be quality-based, or you won't do it at all. (MOSTLY TRUE... I'm sure there have been 1 or 2 school assignments I turned in that weren't exactly "quality-based." More often, I just didn't do it at all.) You are incredibly loyal to friends, employers, employees, and above all to your significant other. (TRUE) Whatever or whomever you commit to is your sole (and soul) focus. As a BLUE, you love to serve and will give freely of yourself in order to nurture the lives of others. (TRUE)

BLUES have distinct preferences and are the most controlling of the four personalities, although they may not acknowledge (or even realize) the fact. (SAD, BUT TRUE) Your code of ethics is remarkably strong and you expect others (not only your partner and those closest to you, but everyone) to live honest, committed lives as well. (TRUE) You enjoy sharing meaningful moments in conversation with your partner as well as remembering special life events (e.g. birthdays and anniversaries). (TRUE)

WHY YOU'RE HOT:
1) You Put Your Partner/Relationship First
People like to feel important, especially to their significant other, and you have the natural ability to make that happen. (MAYBE TRUE?) As a BLUE, you tend to be very selfless, and your first thought is always "how will this affect my partner?" You would be willing to sacrifice going out with friends or engaging in an activity that you enjoy on your own to do something less exciting with your significant other - not that they would necessarily ask you to - but just knowing you would is a great feeling. (MMM... DEPENDS ON HOW "LESS EXCITING"...)

2) You Make Events Magical
When planning something such as an anniversary dinner or a birthday party, you don't like to go through the same old routine that everyone else does. You have a flair for the creative and you seem to have a sense of how to create an ambiance by adding special touches that you know will be perfect for the occasion. (VERY TRUE. I am over-the-top... OTT.) For example, you might have personalized gifts or you might recreate something meaningful that happened previously in your relationship. You make ordinary things extra special, which is very endearing.

WHY YOU'RE NOT:
1) You Tend To Blame Others For Your Unhappiness (Oh, come on now... I don't think this is true!! Is it??)
As a BLUE, you hold high standards for yourself and tend to have unrealistic expectations of yourself, your partner, and how things "should be," (OK, that's TRUE) so when things go wrong, you turn to others, such as your partner, as the source for your unhappiness. (I'm still not convinced.) You might say to him, "if only you were more attentive / caring / interested / loving (you name it), this wouldn't have happened." This is obviously not a great way to maintain somebody's affection.

2) It's Hard For You To Relax (You Require A Purpose To Play)
BLUES tend to be overly guilt-prone, and so if you are doing things that are not purposeful by your standards, you probably feel guilty about it. (DEFINITELY NOT TRUE) Ergo, you tend to require a justifiable reason to just play and enjoy life - which usually defeats the purpose and makes it feel unnatural or forced to others in your life. Your tendency to be high-strung in this way can be alarming to a potential mate who is stuck wondering if you'll ever be able to calm down enough to enjoy a life together. (EGADS!)

Auld Lang Syne

Hello Friends!! It's so great to be writing again... even though my thoughts are so scattered that I have no idea what I'm even writing about! I can't believe it's almost 2009...

You know when you're a kid and you always wonder what the future will be like? Even when I graduated from high school, I don't think I could have pictured myself in the year 2009. And here we are, and I'm so far from where I thought I would be. When I was in high school, if you asked me what I would be like in 2009, I would have said that I would be married and practicing law somewhere fabulous. That was the goal -- my purpose in life. Living up to my potential if you will. If you had asked me in college what I would be like in 2009, I probably would have said that I would be married and singing or leading worship somewhere fabulous. Maybe I would have said that I would be working for a big company in DC or New York.

In reality, I will turn 28 in 2009. I am working in litigation, but as a Lit Support Manager... not practicing law like I would have guessed. I still live in Gardendale, but by way of Auburn and DC and Tuscaloosa... not in a big city like I projected. Although, I must say, it's been an interesting ride, and I'm remembering the best and worst of times these days. As I get older, I have begun to see things as they actually are instead of how the should be. I miss people that I never thought I would and I feel differently than maybe I should...

To Paige, Allison, and Megan (as well as Robert, Clay, and Kevin): You guys never cease to amaze me. Nothing ever changes, and when I'm with you guys, it doesn't matter that I'm unmarried with no kids (and, consequently, very little life). Even though I feel so far behind you guys at times, it's always great to have friends who know your past and anticipate your future.

To Emily, Josh, and Jonathan: I seriously don't know if I would have made it out alive if it weren't for you three. I know that y'all sometimes think that I am the glue that connects this awesome foursome, but you guys will never know that it was you who kept me connected in so many ways -- connected to God, connected to my passions, connected to real life. And you gave me a place to belong. I have spent most of my life thus far feeling like I don't really fit in anywhere, but I realize now that you three are my soulmates. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

To the Members of YKK (especially Meredith, Brandon, Nick, Eron, and Van): OMG I have never laughed as hard with anyone else as I have with you. Whether it was playing Battle of the Sexes (Sk...Sk...Skipper!), Trivial Pursuit (The Panama Canal flows THAT way!!), Balderdash (Spraints a Tot!), Hide and Seek (Van, I seriously hope your arm didn't suffer any permanent damage...), or Volleyball, I loved every minute and I know I can count on you when I need it most.

To the Boys Past, Present, and Future: I have been single for almost 28 years, and while that sometimes seems like a curse, it's also a blessing in disguise. I have lived on my own, traveled on my own, and survived on my own for a long time. I have had the opportunity to live independently and have learned how to ask for help when I need it. I am smart; I am successful; I am beautiful. I know it's intimidating for you sometimes. I can be intense. I can argue both sides. I can make you feel as big as the world or as small as nothing in the blink of an eye. But I will also get to tell one of you someday that I've had too much of me and not enough of you. Keep waiting on me. Don't give up. I can't run forever.

It's crazy the clarity that comes with old age. :) So anyway, onto THE LIST!!

1) I love the cheese biscuits from Jim 'N Nick's BBQ. With honey butter, please.

2) Christmas holds less luster than it used to. Maybe it's that pesky No-Santa-Claus thing.

3) Sara Bareilles has a recording of "Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay" that I love. She's out of tune in the opening. Fact. Not fiction.

4) Toy commericals really do work on children. My neice saw a commerical for the baby doll that goes to the potty, and all she's been singing for weeks is, "Pee-Pee in the Pot-ty! Pee-Pee in the Pot-ty!" It's annoying. She got the Pee-Pee doll for Christmas to shut her up.

5) I am really jealous of my married (and newly engaged) friends. But when I really stop and think about it, I seriously can't image the feeling of actually wanting to be married. Don't misunderstand me... I want to be married more than anything. I want to share my life with someone. I want to have a family. But that feeling when you go from dating to serious... and then he asks... and then that overwhelming feeling that all engaged girls inevitably get. That feeling that brings tears immediately to your eyes when you realize that you actually want to be with this one person forever. I am jealous of that feeling.

Enough pouring my heart out for one day. Next post promises to be light-hearted. :)

Playing Games of Catch-Up

Can it really have only been a little less than 2 weeks since I posted?? I know that perhaps the every-other-week thing seems a bit sparse, but these past couple of weeks have literally seemed like a lifetime!...

I've become a massively huge fan of Picnik... and for those of you who don't know what it is, it's a free photo-editing website. Well, technically I guess you can subscribe and get more features if you pay money, but who wants to do that?? Not me. Anyway, just for grins, here are a few pictures I've taken over the course of a few millenia (so it seems). Enjoy!!

I call this one "First Avenue Lady." It was taken in downtown Birmingham... from my car... pretty much in the middle of the day... obviously on First Avenue. I played a bit with the colors and the exposure, and I'm pretty pleased with the results.

This is a photo I took from the ferry going from San Francisco to Sausalito, CA. It's an absolutely beautiful place... freezing... even in August, and especially on the water. I hyper-saturated the colors to make the sunset appear more brilliant, which I LOVE!! The picture now looks exactly like Sausalito does in my memory... stunning.

This really is one of my favorite pictures I've ever taken. It's a section of RR tracks not far from my house that are very rarely used anymore. I love the picture just because it makes it seem like part of a ghost town or something. Very solemn. Very lonely. Melancholy even. I took the picture in sepia and then tinted it with red.

I took this picture in Destin, FL a couple years back. The beach was pretty eroded from a recent hurricane and everything had this worn look about it, especially this old boardwalk. What I really love about the picture is that you definitely can't tell that at the end of this bridge were some VERY steep steps going down to the water. And you can't tell even more that the steps had been washed away by the storm and just left this 20 foot drop just over the edge. It was frightening, but the picture makes it look like a tiny bit of nostalgia. I used the same grainy exposure as I did with the First Avenue Lady, saturated some of the colors, and then used a sharpening tool to bring out some of the whites and define individual pieces. I think it turned out really nice.

Here's my tribute to Auburn Road... you're welcome, Josh. The exposed brick wall and dim, even intimate lighting lent itself very well to a softed version of this picture. It definitely makes them look more professional.... :)

I have LOADS of other pictures, and I'll try to be better at posting some of them so you can enjoy them too! But, it's time again for the things I've learned lately, which is not much. I think I've passed the learning curve...

1. Pets belong at the zoo. OK, maybe I didn't just learn this, and I know I'm going catch a lot of flack from you animal-lovers out there. Please hear me out... I don't hate your pets. I just shouldn't have any. To me, it seems a bit like burning $20 bills. I can pay a few bucks and get my fill of the pets at the zoo. Once a year is good enough for me.

2. I am more afraid of Kevin Bacon than I am of roaches. This disgusts me. Whenever a Kevin Bacon movie comes on TV, I feel all awkward and panicky and my palms get all sweaty and I have to close my eyes. Yes, I realize that this is completely and utterly irrational... my mysterious KevinBaconophobia. And I used to be terrified of roaches, but just the other night one honked as he crawled past me in the garage. I didn't even jump!! I was just very still as I called my sister out to take care of it. But later that night, "Footloose" came on TV and I thought I needed an inhaler.

3. I want a vampire boyfriend. I realize that I am getting weirder by the day, but Twilight has made me strangly envious of fictional vampire love that spans centuries. Sigh...

4. Publix has made organic shopping so easy!! I was recently convicted about all the chemicals I was adding to my body via food, and while I can't say that I go out of my way to buy organic foods, I have realized that they tend to taste better and they don't make me feel bad for eating a bunch of chemicals. At Publix, they mark all the organic foods with a brown price label and the non-organics with a white one. Now I don't even have to think about it!! I love America.

Well kiddos... enjoy the rest of your week! I know it's only Monday, but every day is one closer to Friday! :)

Lost

It's a strange concept to me... lost. It's definitely NOT a destination. You've planned a near-perfect route and you're cruising along when all of a sudden... WHAM! You're lost. And sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to find the turn you took that steered you so far off course. But it happens to the best of us, and I'm feeling pretty lost today. There are three very distinct reasons why. Read on (if you dare)...

1) "God has someone special out there for you."

Now, I realize that it might sound just a bit pretentious and maybe even just plain insane that this uplifting little statement could make me feel absolutely lost. But in all honesty, I think if I hear this phrase spoken to me one more time, I seriously might yak in someone's face. (Yes, please consider this a warning.) I am at an age where just about everyone I know is in some combination of monogamy, marriage, or getting some on a regular basis. So it seems pretty easy for them to say that there's a special someone out there for me too.

Honestly, I don't know if there's someone out there for me. I completely understand that you can't be outside the will of God and expect the blessings of God, but I'm having a really hard time even figuring out what it is that I'm even doing wrong here! If he's out there, is it really too much to ask that he show himself... and soon, please, before I completely lose it. Most of my friends/coworkers/family like to say condesending things like "Oh, you're so lucky. You get to have a career and friends and do whatever you want to." What they don't realize is that the desires of my heart are to have a happy little marriage, a happy little family, all living together in a happy little house. My desires are not for work or career or freedom. The grass is always greener...

Being mad at God is NOT something that comes naturally for me. I'm a blame taker and a peace maker, so it's hard for me to be or stay mad at God (or anyone, for that matter) when I know there's probably an insanely long list of my faults and wrongdoings that can be thrown back in my face. I shudder to think of that conversation. But I seriously am having trouble believing that God would withhold something that He knows would make me so unbelievably happy while allowing my parents to push me to plan my 19-year-old sister's wedding! This one little event has the potential to crush my spirit so thoroughly, so completely.

I feel like God is holding out on me! I can so easily see how Eve was "tricked" into partaking of the beautiful, perfect yet forbidden fruit. Satan convinced her that God was holding out on her. He was withholding something wonderful, something perfect, something she should be entitled to. It's becoming harder and harder to be obedient when rebellion seems too beautiful, too perfect, too easy.

2) "You're really not going to tell me anything about your life?"

Maybe I just have a short fuse these days, but when I heard this statement, I seriously wanted to shift into a werewolf and claw some eyes out. First of all, there's not much to tell. Second of all, I am not in such a bad position in life that I need someone to feign interest in my life. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear it when we were dating, and now that he's made the unilateral decision that we "could be great friends," he is fishing for information. Information that I'm doing worse without him. Which I'm not. I'm not worse off. I'm just lost. It's hard to feel bad or good when you're frantically trying to find a way back to your normal life. But even if I wanted to be brutally honest about how my life has improved post-taxman, I am always the one to do/say exactly what is expected. And even though I want to lash out, stay angry, hold a massive grudge, I don't. I answer the phone every single time. Sometimes I find myself so annoying...

3) "You're not really going to buy a house here, are you?"

This is probably the worst, most frustrating sentence in the entire world. At least for me anyway, because I never thought I'd be a townie. And it's not that being a townie is a bad thing... I just really, honestly never thought it would be me. I am the mover. I am the accomplisher. I am perpetually on to bigger and better things. Right?

But what if I'm not? What if I'm no better or worse than anyone else who moves home? Even if I moved to a completely different city with completely new faces, new opportunities, new scenery... would anything really be any different? Wouldn't I still be me? Me, surrounded by newer, married/monogamous/parental faces.

And this whole house thing... I just honestly don't know what else to do! I mean, seriously, if I bought a house, what would I do with it? Live in it alone?? I have no idea how to do that! But, again, I just don't know what else to do! It seems like the most plausible option at this point. It's too expensive to rent and a ridiculous waste of money. But it's SOOOO permanent to buy. What's a girl to do??

Kiddos, I have no idea what I've learned this week. I have no words of wisdom. Maybe you could share some news with me... you never know what might make it into my next post!!

Adios...