Buckets of Hope

Wow! It's been a loooooonng time since I've written, and although I've neglected my blog recently, I'm turning to it now to get the message out about a program called "Buckets of Hope." Read on...

By now we all know about the devastation in Haiti... the massive earthquake and the huge aftershocks have left most of the country in turmoil. Although the physical damage is extensive, the emotional damage could last a lifetime for many. While the country is healing, they need help... not from people with money (although that DOES help)... but from people with a compassionate heart.

I feel like I might should include a bit of a qualifier here, before I get to my blog. I DO NOT think it is an OBLIGATION that the people of the United States provide aid to Haiti. There are some of you out there, and I do not judge you if you are one of these people... but there are some of you who will read this and will be condescending at the very thought that anyone would ask you to help someone less fortunate than you. There are some of you who will read this and will truly believe with all your heart that you aren't going to help the people of Haiti - by all regards a 3rd world country - because you feel like they should be smart enough and strong enough to help themselves. If you happen to be one of those people, PLEASE read no further.

I sometimes have a hard time with the grace of God. (I know that statement may seem unrelated, but stay with me here because it really is important.) I have a hard time accepting God's grace into my life. I have a hard time admitting that I might need the help of someone infinitely wiser than me. I want to GIVE charity... not BE charity. But the problem with this is that at some point in my life, I had to come to the conclusion that I am God's charity case. And it's humiliating. And I use that word - humiliating - purposefully. Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines humiliating as "extremely destructive to one's self-respect or dignity." And that's SO TRUE. But I had to be humiliated to realize that my own thoughts of myself weren't nearly as good as the thoughts that God thinks about me. And the moment that I chose to believe what He thinks about me rather than what I think about myself, I had to accept God's charity. I needed him to completely save my life.

So this post is meant for those of you who are, like me, living on God's charity...

The "Buckets of Hope" ministry came out of the Haiti Response Partnership between the Florida Baptist Convention, the International Mission Board, the Baptist Global Response, and the Southern Baptist Disaster Relief. Whether or not you're a baptist... or whether or not you agree with baptists... this program has been designed to provide relief to a group of people who desperately need God's charity... and He tells us in Matthew 25:45 that whatever we do for the least of these - for those whose standard of living is so far beneath us that we sometimes wonder how they even exist... for those who have not yet discovered the strength or the ambition or the creativity to make a life comparable to our own - whatever we do for them, we do for Him.

A "Bucket of Hope" is a five-gallon plastic bucket packed with pre-determined food products that will sustain one Haitian family for an entire week. For approximately $40, you can purchase the bucket and food and include the shipping charge to have a bucket delivered to a family in Haiti.

The Bucket:
The bucket should be a 5-gallon plastic bucket with a tight-fitting lid and a handle, and it should be new and unused with no logos or commercial markings on the outside. You can buy buckets like this at Lowe's or Home Depot for about $5... or you can try your local Wal-Mart bakery. Their cake icing comes shipped in these buckets, and they clean and re-sell them for $1 each.

The Food:
Any of this food can be generic or store-brand items. Once the food is used, Haitian families will be able to use the plastic bucket for a variety of everyday things - everything from collecting water to doing laundry. PLEASE DO NOT SUBSTITUTE ANY ITEM LISTED AND DO NOT ADD ANY ADDITIONAL ITEMS INSIDE THE BUCKET!

2 - 5 lb. bags of long grain enriched rice
1 - 48 oz. plastic bottle of cooking oil
1 - 2 gallon plastic ziplock storage bag (to wrap the bottle of cooking oil)
2 - 2 lb. bags of dry black or red beans
1 - 5 lb. bag of all-purpose flour (NOT self-rising)
1 - 20 oz. cylinder container of granulated white sugar (used for coffee)
2 - 1 lb. boxes of spaghetti noodles
1 - 40 oz. plastic jar of smooth peanut butter

Packing Instructions:

1. PRAY FOR THE HAITIAN FAMILY WHO WILL RECEIVE YOUR BUCKET!
2. Lay the bucket on its side.
3. Place the rice packages in the bucket. Lay bags side-by-side, flat, running in the direction from top to bottom in the bucket. Gently compress the bags (without breaking them!) as flat as possible to create room for the other items.
4. Place the bottle of oil inside a clean, unused 2 gallon storage bag, compress the air out, wrap the excess portion of the bag tightly around the bottle, and close. (This is just a precaution to protect the food should there be a leak or break in the bottle during transport.)
5. Lay the bottle of oil on top of the rice bags. Lay the wrapped container so that the bottom of the bottle is at the bottom of the bucket and is approximately in the center of the bucket.
6. Place the peanut butter jar on one side of the oil.
7. Place the cylinder of sugar on top of the wrapped oil bottle.
8. Place the boxes of spaghetti noodles on the other side of the oil.
9. While holding the sugar and peanut butter containers in place, stand the bucket upright.
10. Place one bag of beans down along the inside of the bucket next to the peanut butter.
11. Place the bag of flour on its side on top of the peanut butter, gently packing down the flour bag to clear the rim of the bucket.
12. Place the second bag of beans next to the flour.
13. Close the lid on the bucket and make sure it snaps securely.
14. Place $10 check made out to STATE BOARD OF MISSIONS in a SEALED ENVELOPE and attach to the top of the bucket.
15. Take the filled "Bucket of Hope" to your area collection center by March 5, 2010. For a complete list of collection sites, please visit www.alsbom.org/haiti. If you can't get it to a collection site from wherever you are, contact me and I will find a way to get it where it needs to go!

I'm not one to really be a huge advoate for asking people to spend their money, but... this is a phenomenal program to provide food to people who HAD nothing and now have even less. I am PLEADING with everyone who reads this to find a way to make a bucket. If this isn't up your alley or if the location is a problem or if you just want to try something different, I am encourage you to look into www.ahomeinhaiti.org, a mission to provide tents for displaced residents of Haiti.

COME ON FRIENDS! Get involved! I am literally BEGGING you, and that's a rarity for me. (I don't beg.) But I am humiliating myself to help these people. For the same amount of money I would spend on a nice night out, I can provide an entire week's worth of food for a family in need. The decision has already been made. I pledge that I will send a bucket full of hope.

Maybe I'll send two.

Life's Like an Hourglass Glued to the Table...

Is it really time again for reflection on another year passed? It's hard to believe that the month, the year, AND the decade are all coming to a close at the same time! So many things have happened - not just this year, but this entire decade! I think the close of every year is met with just a little bit of shock and awe at the ways in which we've all grown closer or grown wiser or grown up or grown apart.

It's all about the growing, really... that's why we're still here. Each year we have new opportunities to heal or to help or to forgive or to make amends. Or we have bridges that need to be burned, past hurts that need to be buried, regrets that need to be remedied. And with every new happiness, every new tear, every new joy, every new pain... we grow. We become someone just a little bit different than we were before. Contrary to what most of us choose to believe, people really do change. And as long as I'm here on this earth, I will continue to believe that people change just a little bit every day. It might not always be in ways that we can see... or even in ways that we agree with... but there's always change.

I have grown in a lot of ways this year... my career has grown into something I never dreamed I would be doing... and that I never dreamed I would love this much. I have learned that it's very easy for me to validate myself by my performance at work. I relish the opportunity to be important in the eyes of my clients and coworkers. I have tucked myself into a wonderful caccoon of job security. And, at times, I have forgotten what life is really like. Career is an interesting animal.

(Disclaimer: I don't use the term "necessary evil" because while I do believe that work is necessary, I don't think it's an "evil." I don't think any of us would be any happier, better, more successful people if we didn't HAVE to work. I think work is a growth all its own. Work is an opportunity to find a place for yourself, find something you're good at, and decide WHO you want to be when the going gets tough. It teaches us patience and tolerance for others, perseverance, dedication, grace under pressure and how to handle tough decisions and honest mistakes. And for the record, I don't think you have to work outside the home to learn these things. But I do think all of these qualities are BUILT by working hard at SOMETHING, whether that be raising kids or even playing sports.)

I have also recognized a lot of failures this year... failed relationships, failed tests of character, failed communication... poor decisions, poor circumstances, poor choices. But I don't think any year is ever any easier than the one before. Sometimes we are presented with an opportunity and sometimes we create an opportunity. Sometimes we say the right thing and sometimes we mean to say the right thing. Sometimes we judge and sometimes we let it slide.

I think, for the most part, we all try to do and say and mean the things that are good and right and helpful. But sometimes it gets all mixed up, and there's never any indication as to which time it might be right and which time it might be wrong. Sometimes the relationships you wish you could repair can't be fixed. Sometimes the bridges you've burned can't be rebuilt. But sometimes... and you never know when or where it might happen... people change. And eventually, it might be you.

So where do I go from here? The year is coming to a close... the decisions have been made or left undecided, the bridges have been built or burned... what happens next? I can only speak for myself when I say that the only place to go from here is onward. Maybe 2010 will be the year when I can finally work a little less and spend more time with friends and family. Maybe 2010 will be the year of romance. Maybe 2010 will be the year that everything changes. But who really knows? So, with that in mind, here are my 2010 resolutions...

I, then, shall live as one who's been forgiven.
I'll walk with joy to know my debts are paid.
I know my name is clear before my Father;
I am His child, and I'll not be afraid.
So greatly pardoned, I'll forgive my brother.
The law of love, I gladly will obey.

I, then, shall live as one who's learned compassion.
I've been so loved that I'll risk loving too.
I know how fear builds walls instead of bridges;
I'll dare to see another's point of view.
And when relationships demand commitment,
Then I'll be there to care and follow through.

Your kingdom come around and through and in me;
Your power and glory, let them shine through me.
Your Hallowed name, may I bear with honor,
And may Your living kingdom come in me.
The Bread of Life, may I share with honor,
And may You feed a hungry world through me.

It Might Start Now

What is it about music that pulls at our emotions so much? Why is it that we can find one song and listen to it over and over and over without so much as one ounce of boredom? I'm a self-proclaimed music junkie... I love it. Can't get enough. And then I'll find a song that digs way inside and sinks its claws in. It pulls up emotions that I buried long ago. And it stirs new ones that I didn't even know I had. I guess that's the great mystery of music. Somehow, someway, someone has found a way to express for us what we weren't sure we even needed to...

Hello world, hope you're listening.
Forgive me if I'm young,
Speaking out of turn.
There's someone I've been missing.
I think that they could be
The better half of me.
They're in the wrong place
Trying to make it right,
But I'm tired of justifying.
So I say to you...

Come home.
Come home...
'Cause I've been waiting for you
For so long,
For so long.
Right now there's a war between the vanities,
But all I see is you and me.
And the fight for you is all I've ever known.
So come home.

I get lost in the beauty
Of everything I see.
The world ain't half as bad
As they paint it to be.
If all the sons,
All the daughters,
Stopped to take it in,
Hopefully the hate subsides
And the love can begin.
It might start now, yeah,
Or maybe I'm just dreaming out loud.
But until then...

Come home.
Come home...
'Cause I've been waiting for you
For so long,
For so long.
Right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
And the fight for you is all I've ever known...
Ever known...
So come home.

Everything I can't be
Is everything you should be,
And that's why I need you here.
Everything I can't be
Is everything you should be,
And that's why I need you here.
So hear this now...

Come home.
Come home...
'Cause I've been waiting for you
For so long,
For so long.
Right now there's a war between the vanities,
But all I see is you and me.
And the fight for you is all I've ever known.
So come home.

["Come Home" by OneRepublic & Sara Bareilles]

I have learned to not emote every much. (Emote... is that the right word?) Anyway, I have gotten VERY good at "content" and "pleasant." But I'm not big on showing "weak," "afraid," "unhappy," or even "malcontent." (Oooh... I'm am on top of my vocabulary today.) I don't like to feel those things... so when I do, I don't want anyone to know it. I don't want anyone to accuse me of losing my direction or my joy. It's just that lately I've realized that I have everything I need and most everything I want. And what does someone do when they have everything?

I have gotten so good at "content" and "pleasant" that it seems like I've forgotten how to feel much of anything else. I'm not even sure if it's normal to question happiness, but sometimes I miss those other emotions. I miss the fiery anger I used to feel when I discovered an injustice. I miss the miserable yearning I used to feel when I had to say goodbye. But most of all I miss the butterflies.

You know... the butterflies. The way your heart skips a beat when he enters a room. The tummy-rumbling nerves that sneak in when he says something you've been waiting to hear. The anxious tension that you could cut with a knife while you're waiting. I miss it. All of it.

It's a running joke between me and J Mac that I'm a "relationship sabotager." I have a hard time with commitment... but only because I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between politeness and sincerety. But the problem with relationship sabotage is that it lets me off the hook. And I don't want to be let off anyone's hook anymore because I might get the notion that it's OK to keep running. Everything in my life has led me to right now, and the last thing I want or need or deserve is to be let off anybody's hook.

I miss the REAL emotions. The ones that are so real that they've kept me constantly moving, mostly running from them, never ready for them. I'm almost ready. But until then, I'll wait for someday soon.

Fresh, Clear, Well-Seasoned Perspective

Can you suggest a good wine to go with that?

Perspective is a funny thing. It never comes when you need it most, that's for sure. The dictionary defines "perspetive" as "one's point of view." I don't know that I necessarily agree with that. Or maybe I do... stay with me, folks. This is a bumpy one...

A wise man once said that opinions are like butts. Everybody has one and they all stink. Hmmm... an outrageous metaphor, but so true. Most of us spend our entire lives trying to develop our own system of beliefs... our own opinions... our unique perspective, if you will. We follow politics and try to form some opinion of what's right and wrong with our government. We join sororities and fraternities and civic clubs to form opinions about the programs and causes that are most important. We choose our friends based on who most thinks like us. We cheer for a certain sports team because that's who mom or dad or husband or wife cheers for. We deal with trials and tribulations, successes and failures, based on friends we know who have already been there and done that. But how many of us are really forming a unique perspective?

Fresh, clear, well-seasoned perspective.

I would venture to go so far as to say that none of us have a unique perspective. I don't think that any human ever has. Our beliefs and opinions... our perspective... is so often formed by people we perceive to be wiser or smarter or more popular than we are. But perception is a great deceiver... sometimes our perception is spot-on, and sometimes it couldn't be father from the truth. And anything that unreliable shouldn't be wholly trusted.

I will even go even further to say that we as humans are almost totally incapable of forming a unique perspective. Everything we believe or don't believe is based on the beliefs or the un-beliefs of something or someone before us. Please don't misunderstand me... I don't mean to sound like all humans are merely mindless lemmings, incapable of personal thought development or of gaining wisdom through personal experience. I only mean to say that we tend to base what we believe on something other than ourselves.

So, now I make my hypthesis... my geometry-inspired "If-Then Statement" (Mrs. Tanner would be so proud...)... IF we as humans are incapable of forming our own unique opinions and perspective... and IF we draw our opinions from others... THEN it should stand to reason that we should adopt the opinions and perspective of someone or something COMPLETELY INFALLABLE.

And there's the rub. No matter how wise or experienced or popular someone may be, their mistakes are all just as costly as ours. It's insanity, really, the amount of trust we put in people that we perceive to be better than us in some way. There's only one human who has ever been or ever will be on earth who is completely infallable. Only one has never made a mistake or a bad choice or a hasty decision. Only one is infinitely wise, infinitely good, infinitely experienced, and infinitely popular... and yet we put our trust in so many other than the One.

I spent lots of time conforming my opinions to the opinions of others that I felt could advance me somehow. I picked a political party. I joined a social club or two. I went to a popular college. I listened to music that made me fit in with one group or another. I went to church and then I didn't. I dated a certain guy while not even considering another. And I did all of this... I formed my entire existence around what others thought or said or believed. And for years I felt that, somehow, I didn't quite belong anywhere.

And that's when He said, "Blair, don't you get it? You belong with me."

And it was life-altering. Not so much because I made new friends or chose a different career or dropped out of my clubs. It was life-altering because I can now form my beliefs and my opinions... my perspective... out of the perspective of the One who is infinitely wiser than I could ever dream. Jesus warns me so many times in the Bible to not be deceived by my own perspective...

Every brother is a deceiver and every friend a slanderer... Jeremiah 9:5
The pride of your heart has deceived you... Obadiah 1:2
Watch out that no one deceives you... Matthew 24:4
If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself... Galatians 6:3
Let no one deceive you with empty words... Ephesians 5:6
I tell you this so that no one may deceive you with a good argument... Colossians 2:4
Don't be deceived... James 1:16

And on and on it goes. Don't be deceived by what others are saying. Don't blindly accept someone's opinion as fact. Don't do something just because someone you love is doing it. You are His beloved, called by His name. Don't worry. He has a plan that was made just for you. Adopt His perspective as your own. Don't be afraid to seem unimportant in the eyes of people. Choose instead to be famous in the secret audience of the One who sees and understands it all.

Lord, it's with an honest reverence
That I come into Your presence,
Whispering the Name that calms all fear.
And I'm filled with such emotion
At Your mercy and devotion -
To think that You would come
And meet me here.

Lord, I tremble
At the very thought of Calvary
Where You chose me over life
And You suffered willingly.
Lord, I tremble
At the way I'm undeserving
Of the love You came to give
And Your blood that makes me worthy.
Lord, I tremble.

My Jesus is an Auburn Fan

Don't laugh! This is serious! It's been almost an entire month since my last post, so I've had plenty of time to figure this one out. Stay with me...

Team sports have always intrigued me. I participated in just about every sport imaginable when I was younger... softball, basketball, cheerleading, gymnastics, volleyball, newcomb (does this count as a sport?). Anyway, I'm a big fan of team sports. I love the competition, the adrenaline rush of a close game, the comraderie of a team trying to win. It's exhilarating. That's why I came to the conclusion that Jesus must be a fan of team sports too...

I love Auburn football. In fact, I just love Auburn in general. And everyone I know that went to Auburn has the same love and awe and respect for it. And no two loves are alike. Auburn is not just a school or a town or even a football team. It's a family. On the first day of orientation, you're welcomed into the "Auburn family." It's a special kind of relationship...

And thus, football Saturdays are kind of like a family reunion. It doesn't matter how long you've been away or whether or not you accomplished all you set out to do. Even people who are team non-committal find themselves caught up in the rush of cheering a team along. People come from all across the country, sporting team colors and wielding masses of tiger tails and team shakers... and all for the same reason: TO BE A PART OF SOMETHING SPECIAL. It's true. Most people don't love Auburn because of the great football program. They don't love Auburn because of its stellar academics. They love Auburn because they're a part of something special... a special bond between a place and a group of people. People love the relationship.

So Jesus MUST be an Auburn fan... or at least I bet He can identify.

Jesus is all about relationship. He's all about that lovin' feelin'. He doesn't care where you come from or what you're wearing. He doesn't care if you tithe enough or if you are worshiping a certain way. It doesn't matter if you follow a set of rules or if you know all the books of the Bible. It doesn't matter to Him how long you've been away or whether or not you've accomplished everything you should have. What matters to Him is that you come. He wants to be a part of something special with you. Jesus isn't about rules or priorities or expectations; He's about relationship.

I've come to the conclusion that the things that people are jealous of aren't things. People are jealous of relationships. People crave that lovin' feelin'. People desperately want to be a part of something special. It's why they love Auburn and will defend it no matter what. It's why people who don't care anything about sports will find themselves in a borrowed Auburn t-shirt to go to a game with a friend. And it's why Auburn fans will wear crimson and white to a game with a friend in order to be a part of the team. Those people don't love the crimson and white team... they love the relationship their friend has with the team or the school or even the crowd. It's overwhelming. And it's contagious.

And shouldn't it be with Jesus so much more? If we're truly living in a special relationship with Him... and if people are jealous of the best relationships... shouldn't we be pointing people to Him by our very disposition? Jesus is especially fond of me. And he's especially fond of you. He loves each of us completely and completely differently. And my Jesus is an Auburn fan.

Not Me! Monday...

If you read MckMama's blog My Charming Kids, then I'm sure you're aware of the fun of Not Me! Mondays. It's been a wild couple of weeks... and here's a list of things that I did not do...

It was not me who came up with a lame excuse so I could leave work 3 hours early and go to Hobby Lobby and browse the Christmas ornament aisles. Not me! I would never do something so deceitful... especially when Christmas is still almost 4 months away.

It was also not me who went by Full Moon BBQ last night and ordered a half dozen cookies (and nothing else) for dinner last night because I was too lazy to cook anything else. Nope. Not me! I always find something healthy and nutritious to make myself for dinner. Besides, my mother taught me that you can't eat only cookies for dinner... and I always do what mother says.

And it was not me who sat behind her desk with her pants unbuttoned all day because they were too tight (...probably from not eating the aforementioned half dozen cookies). No way! Not me! I would never stoop so low just to squeeze into a pair of last year's pants that should still fit.

And since we're not confessing, it was certainly not me who took an entire day off work on Friday to prepare for a party that was cancelled. Not me! If I cancelled a party, I would be responsible and go to work instead of wasting an entire day eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch and watching HGTV.

Anyone want to share your Not Me! moments??

Disturb Us, Lord

Can you believe it's September?? With every passing month, I become more and more aware of all the things I meant to do or be or become. It seems like every time I post again, I'm filling the first paragraph with apologies for not writing like I should and with excuses about how busy I am. This week I have finally! realized that everyone's busy. No one's life is any less important than mine, even though sometimes my actions (and my driving) may prove otherwise. So, onward and upward...

I came across this unbelieveable poem this week and fell on my face with conviction. Read it first. I'll explain afterwards...

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
[Sir Francis Drake]

If you read that and felt nothing, then I pity you. How many times a day, a week, a month... a lifetime?... do we sail too closely to the shore, never once leaving our comfy, warm life to meet with Jesus on the raging sea? How many times have I fallen in love with my own life and neglected to remember the very reason for life itself? How many times have I been satisfied with what I have, never once believing that there was anything better to dare to dream for? How many of us are working diligently to create a new, better world to live in but forget that this earth is merely a temporary tent of a home? Oh the things we could accomplish if we could only remember!!

I can't remember a day when I wasn't at least kind of afraid. Looking back at so many of my posts over the course of the past year, fear seems to be an underlying theme. And the funny part is that I don't have an overwhelming volume of conscious fear. But I could speak volumes about my unconscious fears. It's small fear... fear that I don't always know I possess. It's the small fear that keeps holding me back, day after precious day.

I don't have many regrets in life. I think that most people say that they don't have regrets because mistakes only make you stronger, build character, or bring you to where you are today. And while I think I belive that, I can't honestly say that I don't have any regrets. Anyone who says they don't have any regrets suffers from one of two things: 1) denial or 2) miracles. Anyone who has no regrets has never been faced with the fact that someone's very life might have been in your hands and you blew it because you were afraid.

I suffer from a particularly terrifying fear of not being liked. It is closely linked to my struggle with fear of failure. I have convinced myself that being well-liked is in direct correlation to being successful. In other words, the more liked I am by people, the more I will succeed. If you really think that statement through, it's not entirely untrue. Or uncommon. These fears were particularly successful in the winter of 2006. I very well might have held someone's life in my hands, and I didn't follow-up, I didn't check in, I didn't encourage. And all because I was afraid. I was afraid that a group of teenagers might think I was (gasp!) uncool and that if I was (gasp!) uncool that I would be unsuccessful. I have never let that experience leave me for fear that history might repeat itself. All I can hope is that a seed was planted and that God handled the things that I so royally messed up. I won't know this side of heaven.

I know that I am usually writing about Godly singleness, and I won't leave out that part because it all works together. My fears of failure and of not being liked have affected me there too. I shut people out, shut them down before I can fail, before I discover that they may not like me. But what I have realized in all my rants about why God has left me single for so long is this: It doesn't really matter.

That's right. It doesn't really matter why I'm single. It wouldn't really matter if I wasn't. My goal here would be the same. God picked me and created me with a voice, with a purpose. Sometimes it doesn't seem as evident as it does right now... but today I will choose to follow through. I can't tell you why me... why I was picked to live this life and why you were picked to live yours. But we all have something Godly to offer, and every life is connected to every other. What I do or don't do affects people in ways that I can't fully understand. But Jesus understood. He understood the consequences of the cross long before I could have even questioned his decision. My life is connected to His, just as my life is now connected to yours through this blog.

So my prayer today is just that He will disturb me. I want Him to disturb me in my comfort. I want Him to disturb me in my nonchalance. I want Him to disturb me in my complacency. I want Him to disturb me in my spiritual piety. I want Him to disturb me to dream bigger... to leave the safety of shore to meet Him on the raging sea. Because you can't walk on water if you never leave the boat...