I Know the Heart of Life is Good

It's March. And the only thing I have in my head right now is that old country song "Time Marches On." I think Tracy Lawrence sung it? Anyway, for whatever reason all I can think about are the lyrics to the chorus... South moves north. North moves south. A star is born. A star burns out. The only thing that stays the same is everything changes. Everything changes... So true, Tracy. So true.

Everything changes. And usually it's those very things that you're clinging to the tightest... the ones that you so desperately wish would always stay the same... are the very ones that change the most.

There are so many things that I wish I could say to so many people. Things that would make them understand. Things that would explain my actions. Things that would explain my non-actions. But part of my problem has always been that I felt like words should be able to make people understand. And we all know that's not usually the case. Sometimes your actions... or your inactions... make people understand far more than words ever could.

My whole life I feel like I've been waiting for that one big moment. The moment that I know without a doubt that I love someone more deeply than I ever have before and ever will again. The moment when I know that no matter what happens, everything is going to turn out alright. But the more life I live, the more I realize that maybe there really is no big moment. Maybe love is not something that happens in one big moment. Or maybe it's my own fear that keeps me running from the big moments...

How do you explain when something that seems so perfect just doesn't feel right? How do you tell someone you love that the series of actions... and inactions... have made up a past that can't be overcome in the future? How do you decide to move on with someone new... someone with the potential to break your heart all over again? And how do you begin to decipher the fine line between politeness and sincerity?

Everything changes. A person I once thought would complete my life... doesn't. A person I once thought would change for me... won't. And a person I once thought would create that one big moment... hasn't.

So maybe life shouldn't be spent waiting for that one big moment. Maybe it's not the whirlwind trips or grand promises that make love great. Maybe the best we can hope for is someone who makes us laugh, someone who forces us to dream, someone who inspires us to become more. And maybe... just maybe... it's the small, everyday romances that are sometimes the most promising...