Holy Cow!! So Much Has Happened!!

So I'm sure there's no way on God's green earth that I could ever explain all the things that have happened over the last couple of weeks since I've written, so I'll make one of my famous lists!! Things I've learned from life...

1) I am an aunt again! Lakyn Catherine was born at 11:11am on Tuesday, October 21, 2008. She weighed 7lbs. and 12 ozs. and was 20 3/4 inches long. She's absolutely beautiful!! How can you love someone so much that you just met??

2) Auburn football is still in a recession. It needs a government stimulus package.

3) I have grown very tired of the election nonsense. People are too emotional about it - probably that includes me too, but I haven't figured out why people can't talk rationally about the issues of policy AND of character without there being bloodshed. 8 days and counting...

4) I am unnaturally obsessed with cutting my split ends off. And I realize that I just ended that sentence with a preposition... and I realize even more that knowing it's not gramatically correct to end a sentence with a preposition offically qualifies me for geek status.

5) I am no longer perfectly content on my own. This used to be the case, but I'm old now and ready to move on to bigger and better things. I feel very behind in life.

6) Weather forecasting is NOT an exact science. And people get VERY ticked if the forecast around here isn't spot-on. It all seems very silly to me, but you wouldn't believe the number of people who are still wearing inappropriate clothing for the end of October and then blaming the weather people for their poor fashion choices.

7) Boys are extremely confusing, which makes #5 a bit of a quandry.

8) I make LOTS of lists... I think I could write a book full of lists and it would provide a very accurate picture of my life. Which is a bit frightening in some ways... knowing your entire life can be listed on a piece of scrap paper.

Keep your heads up, kiddies! I feel a change in the air...

Whew! What a weekend!

I'm getting great at this every-other-week thing. I wish I could be like one of those serious bloggers who do this like every day, but I don't have that kind of work ethic. At least not for blogging. Plus, I just don't think I have that much to say.

I would really like to visit Greece. I don't know why that's on my mind today, but it is. It seems like my days of fun and adventure are over... at least they've slowed a considerable bit since college. Ah, to have loads of time and disposable income again... It's tragic, really, the way we're always pining for some part of life that we feel like we're missing out on. Maybe it's just me (although I'd wager money that it's not just me), but it seems a rare occasion to find someone who can't think of one thing they'd rather have or want to do that they can't or don't already. So does this mean we're all just wandering around in malcontent, waiting for magical moments in a vast sea of ordinary-ness?

I for one love magic. Not magic in the "wanna see a card trick" sort of way, but the magic that seems to happen when you least expect it. I can remember this one time when I was in Seattle, I wandered off to the Puget Sound just to gather my thoughts and have a little quiet time with God. It was a wonderful event in and of itself, me and God walking together in the Pacific Northwest. But I didn't see the magic. Not yet, anyway. I had made myself a comfy little home on a rock overlooking a particularly beautiful spot and was practically beside myself with loneliness, pouring my heart out like water before the Lord. And then the magic happened. I dried my eyes long enough to see a whale surface and blow his watery mist into the air. It truly was magic. Beautiful, wonderful, marvelous magic. Of course, there are those other kinds of magic that happen to us... those magical things that we could never plan or calculate on our own. They just sort of seem to happen.

In any event, it seems that I have learned LOTS of new things since the last time I posted a list, so I'll get right to it.

1) The race of a child is always the same as the race of the mother. So if a white woman and a black man have a child, the race of the child will be white. Check Barack Obama's birth certificate. It's true.

2) Auburn football is in a recession. Maybe it's linked to the economy.

3) When John F. Kennedy was elected President, one of his big electing points was that we would go to the moon. He had no idea how to accomplish that task but was determined to do so anyway. I don't happen to be one of those conspiracy theorists, but I'm not entirely convinced that we went to the moon. It seems a bit more likely that we created a great looking, extremely convincing moon in the backlot of Universal Studios. Congrats, though, JFK. Most everyone is proud of your foresight.

4) Joe Biden saw FDR on TV in the 1920's. Now, I know some of you might be thinking, Miss Informed, there was no TV in the 1920's. Still more of you may be thinking, Miss Informed, Joe Biden couldn't have been alive in the 1920's and still be "young" enough to run for VP. Listen folks, it's apparently the American way to believe what politicians tell you. Don't ask me; ask Joe Biden how it's possible. If Obama can visit 57 states, surely Joe Biden can watch a little TV.

5) Spaniards are, I think, the nicest and most hygiene-conscious of all the Europeans.

6) There really is nothing that can replace having great friends. :)

Have a great weekend... and WAR EAGLE (despite the recession)!!

It's Sunday!

Have you heard that song... That's what I love about Sundays? I hate it. No, I mean seriously... I hate it. It gets on my nerves. It's cute-sy and all, but writing a song about cutting coupons and singing off-key and then singing it in a twangy voice DOES NOT remind me of my favorite day of the week. I'm pretty sure I'm quite alone in feeling this way, but it doesn't really matter to me what you think. I still don't like the song. Sundays, however, equal LOVE!

It's getting to be that time of year that makes me happy to live in Alabama. It's really cool in the mornings and it just smells like cool weather. I'm not really sure how to describe that smell... just like the smell of aniticipating the holidays mixed with College GameDay and a little lunchtime breeze thrown in. It just makes me happy. The clothes around here definitely get prettier. I don't know if you've noticed, but living in the South during the summertime apparently means you can shed every semblance of modest clothing without repercussion. Worse actually, I think the boys around here actually count down the days until the sweaters and jeans come off and are replaced by midriff-baring tops (no matter what your midriff looks like and with no thought as to whether or not the rest of the world wants to see your midriff) and shorts and skirts so short my mom would spank me if I ever thought about leaving the house in something similar. And I'm 27. Scandalous.

I haven't watched any of the debates. I know that sort of sounds like a confession... and maybe it is... but nonetheless, I haven't watched the debates. I feel a little guilty because I was all gung-ho when Sarah Palin was chosen as the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate. If it were possible, I would like to be her. She's amazing to me. She's polished. She's down-to-earth. She's facing problems that my family can relate to. She cares about something other than politics. And she does it all never once getting a hair out of place. Honestly, I don't know a woman - Republican or Democrat - that isn't jealous of her. Just a little bit.

But the fact still remains that I haven't watched any of the debates. I think it's my way of being passive-aggressive about the state of this country. It's in a mess. I used to think that the government actually created some sort of crisis during an election year to challenge people to do something. But I've abandoned that theory now, seeing as how I don't think even the most progressive politician would have let things get this out of control. So seeing as how I can't wholeheartedly agree with either party, this is what I have decided... (Write this down. If everyone subscribes to my way of thinking someday, entire elections will be decided on this one thing.) I will vote for whichever candidate lets me decide how my own hard-earned money is best spent.

I think I could seriously reform this country, so in lieu of my regular list of things I've learned, I'm giving you my list of fixes for this country. It has taken a lot of thought, plus a few borrowed ideas from some people with far better ideas than my own. Here goes...

1) TAXES: Taxes will be cut to 10% across the board. If you're an individual, you'll pay 10% of your income in taxes to the government. If you're a corporation, you'll pay 10% of your income in taxes to the government. No more exemptions. No more calculations. No more spending half your paycheck at H&R Block trying to find extra money to take home. 10% for everyone. I figure if it's good enough for God, it's good enough for me.

2) GAS PRICES: I will offer Iran, Iraq, Venezuela, Saudi Arabia and whoever else we still buy oil from $20 a barrel for oil. Take it or leave it. Non-negotiable. $20 a barrel. No sense in our enemies getting rich while our everyday citizens are having to take second jobs to have gas money to get to their first job. If they decide they will not accept $20 a barrel, fine. We'll dig up our reserves. We'll create new jobs in refineries to get anything we drill up at home ready for consumption. And we'll find an alternative source for gasoline. And if we don't succeed in finding an alternative fuel, it's our own stinkin' fault for letting it get this bad in the first place.

3) IMMIGRATION: If you come here legally, welcome. Take an English class. Get a job. Learn the rules of the road. Just like everyone else before you. However, if you attempt to cross our border illegally, we will greet you with a backpack, a rifle, and a one-way ticket to Iraq. If you can survive 15 months over there fighting for the country you're so desperate to become a part of, we'll let you in for free. Good luck.

4) THE ECONOMY: If I seriously knew how to fix this, believe me I already would have. But as the situation stands now, our all-knowing government has agreed to write checks to banks and other financial institutions who made risky loans to underqualified lenders. As a taxpayer, it doesn't really seem like this is my problem; however, the government has now made it my problem. So since we've already offered these businesses the money, I say we clean some house while we're at it. If you, as a private financial institution, are now asking the federal government and, by extension, the taxpayers of the USA for financial help, we will give you the money to keep your business afloat. But the management will be replaced. All of it. I would not, under any circumstances, allow the management of an institution that has gotten themselves this far in trouble to continue running that business with my taxpayers' hard-earned money. Sorry. You blew it. I'm sure there are plenty of jobs elsewhere.

Off the soapbox. Enjoy your Sunday!