People Suck

No seriously, they really do. No matter how great some folks are, it's just inevitable that they will eventually let you down. Done deal. Proven fact. No disputable evidence otherwise. People just suck.

I'm one of those people who tend to want to "fix" things, situations, people... whatever is around. I'm like a emotional, behavioral, situational handyman. Or handygirl as the case may be. I'm a fixer. I fix things. Or at least I try to. And it never quite works out the way I want it to because people are the way they are for a reason. Some people are awesome, and when they let you down they say they're sorry and you believe them because you know that they really mean it and that they'll honestly try to never let you down in that way again. It's a wonderful and rare thing, these people. And then there are people who let you down and they say they're sorry and you believe it, not because it's really true but because you like having them in your life and you just so desperately want to believe it. So you do and you shut yourself off emotionally and when they let you down again, it's really no big deal because you didn't have that much invested anyway.

And then there's the worst kind of people -- people who are never sorry. The ones who place blame and make everything someone else's fault. And these are the worst, most deceptive kind of people for fixers like me because you tend to love them so much and then when something happens, they put just enough blame on you to make you believe that if you just take the blame then it'll be over and things will go back to normal. But they never go back to normal, they just learn that placing blame on you fixes things, kind of like putting a band-aid on a stab wound. And it's a vicious, sickening cycle for the fixers of the world because there's really no easy way out of this kind of situation. It's unfixable. And that's the worst because it makes the fixer feel like a failure. Ick.

But like I said before, people are the way they are for a reason. I'm about to sound wise beyond my years here, but maybe the people who are never sorry are only there to help the fixers learn that there's no point in trying to "fix" people. Fixing things, yes. Fixing situations, perhaps. But fixing people? Not up to me. And things that I can't control, that I can't "fix," make me feel like I'm a failure. It's a nasty way to go through life, always trying to fix things that can't be fixed. At least not fixed by me. Maybe I'm just not a good fixer. Or maybe I just need to find people that don't need any adjustments. Yeah, right. Good luck.

So things I've learned lately...

1) You're not supposed to yell "RAPE!" if you're being raped. You're supposed to yell FIRE...?

2) Sugar Free Pudding really does taste every bit as good as the real kind with all the sugar.

3) I have an abnormal fascination with children's clothes that look like shrunken versions of grown-up clothes.

4) Strength is something that comes when you least expect it. Not physical strength, the kind you have to work for. Emotional strength, the kind that can only come with knowing you're a child of the Most High God. Strength and joy and perseverance and patience... I'm convinced these are not qualities that are readily available to everyone all the time. They only appear when you think there's nothing left for you to fall back on. The things are God's way of saying, "Don't forget about Me. I haven't forgotten about you."

Until Next Time...