Seriously People

The great thing about the United States these days is that the stuff that's going on is so crazy, I don't even have to MAKE UP comedy. I can just REPORT comedy. Prices are up, the stock market is down. I feel like I should cry... but there's so much to laugh at!

I seriously was driving home last weekend, just as Hurricane Ike was rolling in to Texas, and of course everyone in Alabama was in a panic. (And panic is just the beginning... ask me what it's like around here if there's a snow flurry...) Anyway, of course gas stations are jacking the prices up really high since Alabamians have no trouble whatsoever believing that the United States might SERIOUSLY run out of gas or something. And it really shouldn't be funny... but then I drove through my small town and saw that there was a gas station offering gas for the low, low price of $3.89. Not even exaggerating, there must have been close to 50 cars littering the highway, all waiting to get their maximum allowance of 10 gallons of gas. But that wasn't even the funny part. The police were out front directing traffic. Seriously people? Wait until Monday to buy gas.

Since it's Friday and I'm trying to get out of this office, here's the list of things I've learned this week:

1) You can smoke heroin. Apparently you can smoke any drug. Shows how much I know.

2) There is a lady who works on our floor who has no trouble whatsoever warning folks who enter the bathroom when she has diarrhea. Weird.

3) Urbandictionary.com really exists. It's especially good for white people who don't realize just how white they really are.

Have a great weekend, friends!