Lucky You!

Well kiddos... it's officially the middle of the first month of 2009. Weird. I haven't put the wrong date on any of my checks thus far, though, so maybe that's a good sign. I have joined the choir at church (AMAZING) and started the new Beth Moore Bible study on Esther (FANTASTIC), and you guys get to follow me along my meaningless banter...

Last night at Bible study, the big question was "What are the three toughest things about being a woman?" That was our first thought-provoking discussion, and I really thought the answers would come easily to me. But they didn't. Of course, there's the obvious: the hormones, mood swings... and the physical consequences of the hormones and mood swings. And of course there's the balance... how do I get everything accomplished that I'm supposed to?? And I know that's not three things, but it's the best I could come up with last night. But, today with a bit more thought, I have decided to share with you (My Faithful Readers) the three toughest things about being a woman... (Get ready... this is HUGE!)...

1. It's tough wearing panties and then dealing with the stress of trying to hide the fact that I do. OK, seriously. Once you stop laughing and compose yourself, read on... Britney Spears is ruling the world. She has a team of cohorts that include Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton, and Lindsey Lohan. Oh, and People Magazine publishes her every move. It's magical, really. The panties. Really. Britney Spears was so worried about her panty lines that she just didn't wear any. And to make sure that she documented the fact that it really is, in fact, uncool to have panty lines, she made sure that People Magazine was there to publish her without any on. Now, I realize that this may be a bit... taboo. But I don't know a woman in the world who doesn't worry about her panty lines. So in order to alleviate this, I am vowing in 2009 to make panty lines cool again. Hey, at least you know we're wearing some.

2. It's tough being a woman in another woman's shadow. For anyone who has done the Esther study, you'll recognize this statement as the first scenario statement. And at first I blew it off because, honestly, I have always thought that you only live in the shadows if you choose that for yourself. I'm a firm believer in standing out. But then I thought about it... and I mean REALLY thought about it... and maybe one of the toughest things about being a woman is... OTHER WOMEN!! And trust me, I have been there and not even realized it. I'm pretty sure at some point during my college career I actually made the statement that I was going to make some ugly friends so I could be the pretty one for a change. (OK, maybe more than once.) I have been in the shadows... behind the "pretty" women, behind the "popular" women, behind the "good Christian" women, behind the "genius," behind the "musician," behind the "man-magnet." Oh, I have been in the shadows, all right. So I vow in 2009 to find ways to let God make me special. Hey, you gotta shine sometime.

3. It's tough accepting that you can't be everything. I don't know if men struggle with this. Frankly, I've never been a man, so I can't speak from personal experience. But women are bombarded ALL THE TIME... Be skinnier! Be prettier! Be younger! Be smarter! Be more nurturing! Cook the meals! Do the laundry! Raise the children! It's exhausting trying to be and do everything you're supposed to do. So I vow in 2009 to clear my schedule, reorganize my priorities, and learn to say NO every once in a while. And if (WHEN!) I don't measure up to Mary, Mother of Jesus or June Cleaver or even Roseanne... I'll just have to get over it. If I'm late to church because I overslept and I feel like people are staring at me, I'll just have to get over it. If I get a spot on my white blouse, I'll just have to get over it. If I don't lose the last 5 pounds, I'll just have to get over it. Hey, I can't be everything.

OK, enough with the wisdom beyond my years. Onward to the list! I think some of you might be shocked at what I've learned lately...

1. Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez are BROTHERS and Martin Sheen is their DAD!?!?! WHERE HAVE I BEEN?? Martin Sheen changed his name from Martin Estevez because he thought the American film industry would be more accepting of a less ethnic-sounding name. Charlie followed close behind, but brother Emilio politely declined. I'm impressed with old Emilio for standing up for himself. KUDOS! I can almost forget that he was once married to Paula Abdul...

2. Drinking 16 ounces of ice water requires the body to burn 17.5 calories to warm the water up to body temperature. So if you drink the recommended 64 ounces of water as ice water, your body will actually burn 70 calories.

3. Pop Rocks contribute to global warming. To make Pop Rocks, the sugary candy is mixed with carbon dioxide at 600psi. Carbon dioxide is one of the greenhouse gasses contributing to global warming. When you put Pop Rocks in your mouth, the candy melts and the 600psi carbon dioxide is released from the bubble. JUST SAY NO!

ENJOY!! :)