Next Stop? Vegas, Please

It's 2011! (I'm sure you were quite aware of this fact, seeing as how it's been 2011 for 4 days now...) 2011 doesn't really mean anything special to me... except that it's a new year. It's time for new ideas, new beginnings, new resolutions (::sigh::). Oh, and I turn 30 this year (::whine::).

I don't know why I can't seem to get excited about this year. The new year is usually a spectacularly optimistic time for me. I'm sure it has very little to do with the turning 30 part and more to do with the lack of direction I seem to be finding myself dealing with. It's very strange. Let me 'splain...

I'm about to hit the Big Three-Oh. (Please, take a moment and let that sink in.) I don't know if I'm supposed to feel like this is one of those huge milestone birthdays or something, but for some reason that number... 30... seems to represent all the things that I haven't quite gotten right yet. It's so horribly pessimistic of me, and yet it's a feeling that I can't quite seem to shake. I'm not anywhere near where I thought I'd be by the time I turned 30... not that it's bad. It's just different. I know that I have a pretty great life. I mean, there are a lot of things that could be different... and a lot of things that I'm sure could be better in some ways... but overall, I really feel like I have a pretty great life. I have a great job. I have a fabulous house that I bought all by myself (and if you know me very well at all, I'm sure you realize what a HUGE accomplishment this was). I have a car. I have money in savings (although not as much as I would like, but we're working on it). I have money in a retirement account. I tithe (although also not as much as I would like, but I'm getting there). I have a great family. I have 3 stunningly beautiful nieces. I have a supportive church family and a wonderful pastor.

It seems entirely reasonable that I should look at 2011 with optimism and hope... rather than with apathy. And my own apathy makes me feel ungrateful and horribly out of touch with my own reality. So what's a girl to do? Before we go any further into this year, let's take a moment to recap 2010, shall we?...

Started 2010 with good friends, dancing, and lots of laughing. Madison turns 5! Work, work, work... RAISE! Dating. Cross Canadian Ragweed concert. Birthday Party! Barons games. The Masters. Sara & Josh's wedding (finally!). Hanging out in Auburn. Going to New Orleans alone. Not dating. Put a contract on a house! New clients = new friends. Closing! Work trips to Destin/Mobile/Fairhope/Orange Beach. Dad's army retirement. More work. CBC Women's Retreat. Back2Church Sunday. Dating again. Atrox! Not dating again. Vacation to DC! Lakyn turns 2! Josh visits. Jonathan visits. Lots more work. Jillian is born! Thanksgiving. Christmas. Devin visits. Big fights. Little victories...

And a partridge in a pear tree. (I feel like we need a moment of silence.)

So despite my apathy, I have determined that 2011 should be a good year. My friend Valerie told me once that my 20's just weren't my time. So, here's hoping that my 30's are my time... 'cause it's about time for it to be my time! So here are my resolutions...

1. Lose 30 pounds in honor of (and maybe in spite of?) my 30th birthday.

2. Begin to accept and celebrate people for who they actually are (instead of who I wished they would be).

3. Learn to balance my life better. (A balanced woman of God sees herself as valuable, gifted, responsible for her own growth and maturity - not overly dependent on anyone to get her through life or to make her secure.)

4. Stop being afraid to love. (EEK! Maybe I'll just take my chances with the weight loss...)

It's a new year. It's time for take life for what it is... and it's time to actually start living my life instead of just working my way through it. 2010 is gone... I can't get it back. I can't change it now. Some of the people who were in my life in 2010 aren't in my life as I begin 2011, and I'm sure that 2011 will bring it's own challenges, accomplishments, victories, and defeats. I know that every experience God gives me, every person He puts in my life, is the perfect preparation for a future that only He can see. So here's hoping for a great year... my 30th.